


The letter

by Halfling



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-27
Updated: 2012-09-27
Packaged: 2017-11-15 04:00:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfling/pseuds/Halfling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter to Castiel from Balthazar (as found post season 6 finale), written sometime mid season 6.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The letter

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers (in a way) for season 6 finale. You have been warned!  
> Originally posted at my [tumblr](www.halfhalfling.tumblr.com).

Dearest Cassie,

I don’t know when you’ll find this letter, or what shape you’ll be in when you do, but if you’re reading this, well, I’m dead. And not dead like when I was pretending to be dead before, no, I mean real, wings burned into a silhouette on the floor, dead. And that’s fine. Heaven knows I’ve been cheating death long enough. I just wanted you to know, Cassie. I did it for you. Obviously, I have no idea at the time of writing this what finally does me in, but I hope I died as I lived—for you.

You know me, or at least, you knew me. I always was a screw up. Never could play by the rules unless I rigged the game. And then you came along, wide-eyed, naïve, and curious as they come. You always said you never could figure me out, but that isn’t strictly true. See, you had me pegged the first day you met me. You looked at me, cocked your head to one side and said “I don’t understand, are good soldiers supposed to be as insouciant as you?” You were right to question, of course. To answer truthfully, as I didn’t then, no. But I’ve never been a good soldier. Neither have you. Good soldiers aren’t supposed to question things.  That’s what drew me to you. It’s also why I ran.

You’re dangerous, Cassie. I mean that with all the love in my heart. You’re a danger to yourself and to your friends. Things were shaky at best when I left Heaven. Everyone was fighting and you could smell the murder in the air. I’m not blaming you, don’t get me wrong, but at the time of writing this, things are looking grim, and well, I’m worried about you. I thought my leaving Heaven might help you, in a way. You know, I often blamed myself for your little rebellions. I encouraged them, after all. But I realize now that you would have rebelled whether or not I was there at all. It’s just in your nature. That might sound like a bad thing, but honestly it’s not. It’s just a warning. Don’t lose yourself in your push to do the right thing. Please, Cassie, for all our sakes. You have great power in you, power to do great good, or great evil. With me gone I’m just afraid that you won’t have anyone to remind you of that, or stop you if you go too far. I believe in the good in you. Please don’t forget about it.

I suppose there’s not much else to say. You’ll just have to learn to live without little old me. You’ve done it already, shouldn’t be any harder now that it’s for real. And don’t you dare die doing something stupid, you hear? Otherwise, I’ll have to smite you.

Love and kisses from beyond the great beyond,

Balthazar


End file.
